{"id":148,"date":"2017-04-21T15:35:05","date_gmt":"2017-04-21T21:35:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/?p=148"},"modified":"2017-04-21T15:42:06","modified_gmt":"2017-04-21T21:42:06","slug":"samantha-the-joke","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/uncategorized\/samantha-the-joke\/","title":{"rendered":"Samantha \u2013 The Joke"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

The scare she had gotten, along with her counselor\u2019s questions, had Samantha thinking about backing out of her plan to play practical jokes on Ashworth. Was it worth the risk? Did he really deserve it? On the other hand would it do him any harm? She finally decided to go ahead with the plan but to be ready to pull out at the slightest hint she might be caught.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Saturday morning I got up early. I had already told everyone I was going for a fifteen mile run and I was going to get an early start. Donning my running gear, I made my way down stairs as quietly as I could. Not that I was being secretive \u2013 well, maybe a little, but I didn\u2019t want to wake anyone. I stopped in the garage to work on the clock radio. It was a quick operation. To verify that the alarm would go off when it was supposed to, I tuned to a local country station and set the alarm for two minutes. That worked, so I set the alarm for when I knew Principal Ashworth would be at the microphone. Checking that the clock was set to the correct time, I pulled the radio\u2019s plug and waited impatiently for five minutes before plugging it back in. The radio\u2019s time matched my watch to the second.<\/p>\n

With the radio unplugged again, I clipped the speaker and buzzer leads and taped over the display with duct tape so the light wouldn\u2019t give it away. Finally, I slid the radio and my phone into my already empty back pack and headed for the front door.<\/p>\n

I got a shock when I heard Mom coming down the stairs. She said, \u201cHave a good run. I\u2019ll fix you breakfast when you get home. When will that be?\u201d<\/p>\n

I swallowed hard to get rid of the shakiness in my voice. \u201cIt\u2019s fifteen miles, and I\u2019ll be taking it easy. Probably around two hours. I\u2019ll call if I\u2019m going to be later than that.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay, have fun, dear.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSee you when I get back.\u201d I waved as I went out the door.<\/p>\n

The run to school was easy. As usual the back gate to the football field was open. I took a lap around the track, primarily to see if anyone else was there. I didn\u2019t expect to see anyone at this hour, but I wanted to be sure. It was all clear, so I made my way around to the back of the stands and entered the bleachers through a tunnel. I jogged up the stairs to the broadcast booth.<\/p>\n

Doing some simple stretching as cover, I made another check for possible observers. This check was critical, and I was as thorough as I could be. I still saw no one. Taking a last look, I unlocked the booth and slipped inside.<\/p>\n

It only took a few minutes to set the radio up. I connected it to the amplifier with the audio cord I had attached to the speaker terminals on the circuit board, turned off the mute switch for the input channel I was using, and adjusted the volume slide to match the slide for the microphone. Finally, since the radio would only buzz if it was on battery power, I plugged it into the socket behind the amplifier.<\/p>\n

Crawling out from under the announcer\u2019s counter, I heard a voice. A chill ran down my back, freezing me in place. The sound was coming from the field. I eased up until I could see the track out the window. A couple, obviously not high school students, was trotting around the track, jabbering away at each other as they ran.<\/p>\n

When they started their second lap, I knew I had a problem. How long would they stay around? Would someone else come before they left? I didn\u2019t recognize either of them, so they probably wouldn\u2019t recognize me. Deciding I couldn\u2019t afford to wait, I slipped out of the booth and locked it. When the runners had their backs to the tunnel, I flipped my hood up and trotted down the stairs, keeping a wary eye on them.<\/p>\n

I ducked into the tunnel, and the stands gave me cover all the way to the south end of the stadium. I waited for the couple to pass the end of the stands on their next lap. Then I slipped around to the front. They weren\u2019t looking back, so I ran for all I was worth onto the field and out the back gate, keeping the back of my hood toward them. I was three blocks away before I could glance back and relax.<\/p>\n

\u2013\u2013\u2013 # \u2013\u2013\u2013<\/p>\n

The kickoff for the football game was at 2:05 PM, but I was there half an hour early to be sure I could see Principal Ashworth when he came out of the booth. Renee came in just before the game started, and when I waved at her, she joined me. \u201cI didn\u2019t know you were a football fan,\u201d she said as she sat down beside me.<\/p>\n

\u201cEvery once in a while I like to try new things.\u201d That was true, even if it didn\u2019t really address what she had said.<\/p>\n

The game was a disaster from the start. Our team got the ball first. Bill Compton was sharp as the quarterback, but the receivers dropped his passes and the runners seemed to mostly hit brick walls. They had only made twenty yards before they had to punt, and fifteen of those were from a penalty.<\/p>\n

Mike Clemens, the punter, got off a terrific kick, and Lamar Stevens downed the ball at the two yard line. Then all hell broke loose. Principal Ashworth was just celebrating the play, when the radio alarm went off. A country song blared from the speakers. It was so loud it distorted into something incomprehensible, and people were slapping their hands over their ears.<\/p>\n

Apparently Principal Ashworth didn\u2019t know about the mute switches on the amplifier because the music dropped to a still-distorted but tolerable level and everyone could hear him swearing. He turned out to know some pretty colorful phrases to use when he was angry. Parents who had been holding their own ears started holding their children\u2019s ears.<\/p>\n

With a final burst of profanity the noise abruptly cut off, all of it. A little later the sound system came back on, and a subdued Principal Ashworth spoke. \u201cLadies and gentlemen, I must apologize for what happened, especially my outburst. It was unprofessional and I sincerely apologize. Someone rigged a radio into the sound system and set it off with a timer. We\u2019ll find out who is responsible for this prank and make sure they are duly reprimanded. \u2026 Officials, you may resume the game.\u201d<\/p>\n

A voice from behind me said, \u201cSam, you\u2019ll have to tell me how you did that.\u201d My heart stopped.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The scare she had gotten, along with her counselor\u2019s questions, had Samantha thinking about backing out of her plan to play practical jokes on Ashworth. Was it worth the risk? Did he really deserve it? On the other hand would it do him any harm? 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It\u2019s specifically in-processing for midshipmen candidates. Their families and the incoming candidates have activities lined up that can keep them busy for the whole day. Samantha had prepared for it with her father\u2019s help. He had given her his copy of\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":78,"url":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/uncategorized\/samantha-mall-walking-part-1\/","url_meta":{"origin":148,"position":1},"title":"Samantha – Mall Walking – Part 1","author":"gordonsavage@msn.com","date":"February 21, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Originally posted on January 16, 2017 by Gordon Savage Fast forward to Friday on the first week of school. Samantha had been in a funk since her brother's death. The only time she wasn't sulking was when she was running, and she did a lot of that. Now school had\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":138,"url":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/uncategorized\/samantha-broadcast-booth\/","url_meta":{"origin":148,"position":2},"title":"Samantha \u2013 The Broadcast Booth","author":"gordonsavage@msn.com","date":"April 4, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"After reconciling with her father, Samantha had a new target for her anger, Dr. Ashworth. He had been prejudiced against her even before he had blamed her for the graffiti. She decided to get even with him by playing pranks carefully crafted to leave no evidence that she had done\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":56,"url":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/uncategorized\/samantha-a-death-in-the-family\/","url_meta":{"origin":148,"position":3},"title":"Samantha – A Death in the Family","author":"gordonsavage@msn.com","date":"February 19, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Originally posted on January 2, 2017 by Gordon Savage When I started working on Antimatter, the follow-on to Teleportal, I realized that since Samantha was going to be the principle character, I needed to know more about her. As I explored her past, I came to realize she was much\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":170,"url":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/uncategorized\/samantha-coming-clean\/","url_meta":{"origin":148,"position":4},"title":"Samantha \u2013 Coming Clean","author":"gordonsavage@msn.com","date":"May 23, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Of all things, the inept detective had gotten one thing right. Ingrid had painted the graffiti on the school. That relieved Samantha immensely, but it didn\u2019t last. He had also blamed Ingrid for the other pranks, and Dr. Ashworth had accepted that as fact. The more Samantha thought about it\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":93,"url":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/uncategorized\/samantha-prank-part-1\/","url_meta":{"origin":148,"position":5},"title":"Samantha \u2013 The Prank, Part 1","author":"gordonsavage@msn.com","date":"March 7, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Originally posted on\u00a0February 6, 2017\u00a0by\u00a0Gordon Savage I\u2019m skipping the next few weeks. Samantha found out that being grounded was harder than she expected, but she gritted her teeth and didn\u2019t complain \u2013 mainly to keep from upsetting her mother any more. As expected Bill found someone else to go to\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=148"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":153,"href":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/148\/revisions\/153"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=148"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=148"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.gordonsavage.com\/sowhat\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=148"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}